A Minor Set Back and Things I've Learned

We found out a couple of weeks ago that MOI lost our son's birth certificate.  Ugh.  It's a common occurrence but that doesn't soften the blow.  I had a very bad week last week.  We are praying so hard that we can get him home before his 5th birthday on May 14th.  Our hearts desire is to not let another birthday go by without all of us together.  It's starting to look as if it's a real possibility that it won't work out that way.  We continue to trust in God's timing.  We know, without a doubt, that He knows what He's doing and there is a peace with that.  I used to equate sadness and disappointment with lack of faith.  However, I can still have faith AND feel sad.  I'm human with built-in emotions so it's only natural that I feel discouraged with how things are going.  That is just one of the things that I have learned on this journey. Here's a list of the others:

1.  Throwing a fit over not getting what I want does NOT change God's mind nor does it help any situation. 

2.  Because of my revelation in number 1, I have a closer walk with the Lord AND I still don't have what I want.  Something only He can do.  :)

3.  It's important for me to be disciplined.  Sleeping in until the last minute only encourages a spirit of grogginess in my soul and lack of motivation.

4.  For me, exercise is really important. Instead of sleeping in until the last minute, I get up at 6:30 to help Nate and Kaitlyn out the door and then I exercise.  I actually love it now and miss it when I can't fit it into my day (this my friends, is a miracle!).  I feel great physically and mentally.

5.  Eating right is a must.  Comfort eating was only dragging me down and it did nothing to change the waiting process of this adoption.  Imagine that.    I control what I eat.  I have lost weight and have tons more energy and motivation.  Most of the time.  Hey, I'm human.  

6.  I learned that I can't fret over the people in my life that have hurt me or have seemed to turn their back on us.  God has shown me who is in our corner, cheering us on, and supporting us and He wants me to focus on them.  

7.  I have learned that my kids are amazing.  They have grown so much as they wait for their brother.   They teach me so much everyday.

8.  I love my husband more now than ever.  He is wonderful.  He is my best friend and I can't imagine going through this life without him by my side.  God has blessed me richly.

9.  I have learned what it feels like to have a child living across the ocean, waiting for us to come get him and how heart wrenching that is.  It hits us like a ton of bricks at times, when we least expect it, but God is enough to soothe away the ache.

10.  Cleaning house, a.k.a, myself, is hard work and doesn't feel great.  God has been so gracious to stir up some of the muck in my soul so He can help me get rid of it all.  I will be a better wife and a better mom to all four of my kids.  

11.  Everyday is a gift and I look for all the blessings, they are everywhere.  When you look, really look, you'll be overwhelmed by His desire to give you good things.  

12.  My parents are the best.  I'm thankful for them and what they have done for us all throughout this journey and to see and hear the excitement when we talk about their newest grandson just touches my heart.  I love them so much.

That is just a few of the many things I have come to realize or learn and I can't wait to see what else God wants to teach me.  I have a feeling I will learn MANY new things once Claudy comes home.  ;)  I better hang on tight for the ride!

Please pray we get that new birth certificate soon so we can get back on track!  Thank you!!

To My Son

Dear Claudy,

I'm sitting here at the kitchen table waiting for dinner to be done.  Outside the snow is falling and I'm thinking about you.  I wonder how you will react to your first sight of snow.  Will you even want to venture out and play in it with your siblings?  This is one of the many, many, things I dream about when you come home.  

I'm thinking of you and your sweet little boy-ness.  I remember how goofy and funny you were while your daddy and I were visiting you.  You loved the stickers we brought you.  We cracked up laughing when you grabbed a hat sticker, stuck on the top of your head and did a crazy dance while saying, "chapo".  You taught us yet another creole word.  We still laugh when we talk about how every time daddy used the punching balloon, you always did jumping jacks to the rhythm.  You are so delightfully silly!  Daddy and I always imitate the way you would close one eye half way and had this crooked grin…..we never really new why you did that, but you knew it made us belly laugh so you did it a lot! :)  I hope that when we bring you home you will still sing your sweet little song for us, "day la la, day la la!"  

We still have so much to learn about you, little man, and there is so much growing and bonding that needs to take place in our home.  There will be hard times as well as beautiful moments we will cherish as a family.  I want you to know that we are ready.   All five of us are ready for you to join this family.   To be there for you in every way possible.  Our home will be a place of love, laughter, security, healing…..etc.  I look back to when I was so upset and sad over how long this process was taking.  I naively thought that things would go quickly for us, without a hitch.  HA!!  Was I dead wrong.  I would have not been ready to be the momma I needed to be if it went my way, on my timeline.  Also, we wouldn't have you, my son.  You were so worth the wait.  We are yours.  Our hearts dream of the day you come home.  We love you with all our hearts.

Love,

 Your Momma Blanc