The Gift of a Glimpse

Because of recent events and God's leading we have changed countries, or at least we are in the process of making the switch.  The coordinator for this country through this adoption agency, travels at least a couple of times a quarter to stay with the children in this orphanage and she intimately knows each child residing there.  How cool is that?!  She also keeps a blog about her visits and provides pictures of the orphanage and the children there.  As I browsed through the pictures my heart just melted at the sight of the children.  And then it dawned on me.  Maybe, just maybe, I'm getting a glimpse of the face that will join our family.  My eyes look at each one, thinking, this one could be ours, or this one, or these two could be joining our family next year.  I just wish I could go and snatch up every single one, they all need a mommy and daddy.  So as I daydream about our little one or ones, I am praying for them and loving them and can't wait to finally know who they are and start our new life with them.  Their sisters and brother love them too and can't wait to add them to our crazy and happy home!!

It's Getting Clearer!!

I can't begin to tell you how up and down this adoption has been.  Sometimes I feel like God is standing there with His finger on top of my head and He's just spinning me round and round.  Of course that's just the ugly side of how I think sometimes.  He has all the details worked out and it's me making things confusing and difficult because I think it should go one way and He's pointing in another direction.  I have conversations with God in which I have the audacity to tell Him that He's mistaken and we need to work together to get things right.  For instance, we have been working on an Ethiopian adoption since June and we've been happily imagining a little Ethiopian running around our home being a part of the family.  In the last couple of months God has been really working, I mean really working in us.  I pray for closed or open doors, for His will to be done, yet when a door closes I think, "come on God, really?"  "But that  wasn't in the original plan!!"  God really is a merciful and gracious God.  He has been showing me that He hasn't budged from the original plan because it is His plan. I'm the one running around like an idiot trying to formulate my plan and get Him to be on board with it.  He sees the child/ren that are meant to be with us and it's time I relax, enjoy this exciting and humbling experience and know that no matter what I do, how I try to manipulate God (crazy that I would think that could work....sheesh), this isn't going to work out any other way but Gods way.  I'm wearing myself out not trusting.  It's so much better,so much sweeter to be resting in Him and letting Him do the work.  I'm so thankful that He never gives up on me!


As you have guessed from what I've written so far, it looks like it's possible that we won't be adopting from Ethiopia.  We haven't completely ruled it out but God has really opened our eyes to a country where we knew the need was great (there's a need everywhere you turn) but never understood just how bad and awful it really is.  We were told that in this particular orphanage ALL the children are waiting children.  There is not enough families for this program and they are desperately looking for families to adopt from this place.  I am not saying where this is just yet, as we are taking the first steps with applications and really trying to wait on the Lord to see if this is indeed where we are to go. Once it has become so clear that we can't ignore it, we will share with everyone. The cost is about $4000 dollars more than an Ethiopian adoption so there is another challenge but I'm trying not to worry about that, children getting adopted into families is far more important than the money and God has that already worked out......I just really wish He would show me! :)  This adoption would move faster as well which kind of scares me and makes me want to worry about money, but also makes me so super excited and happy at the thought of our child being home before next Christmas!!  Eeeeeeeek!!! So as always, we are asking for prayer as we seek His will and we will be sure to keep everyone updated.  

My Heart Hurts

After looking at and inquiring about countless waiting children my heart hurts.  Some of these websites have video footage of these precious little ones, these have been some of the hardest videos to watch.  Sure, some kids are smiling and talking and very energetic, but then if you look closely into the background you'll notice a little one sitting and staring into space, a little one that looks so unhappy that it's hard to watch.  I'm ashamed to even say that.  It's hard for me to watch?!?  While I'm sitting here in my ridiculously cozy house, under my hand made (by my mother) blanket with my fancy, shmancy mac laptop, watching my tv by the glow of my Christmas tree!?!  While my belly is full, too full, from dinner and snacks?!?  While my three kids are asleep in their own individual beds under their piles of blankets snuggled up with stuffed animals and more than one pillow!?!  Instead of asking for prayer for us to find our child and instead of asking for you to buy coffee or to donate......all I really want from you right now is to pray for the millions upon millions of children that don't have a mommy or daddy to kiss them goodnight or to hear the words "I love you, I think you are the best kid", or to wrestle with or to snuggle on the couch 

with a good book or get a decent meal, or to hear how precious they are in Jesus' sight.  Pray for the children who are victims of human trafficking and for babies abandoned on street corners and kids that are told their worthless and thought of being less than a dog.  Lift them up to the Lord and ask Him to hold them close and to provide loving homes for every single one of them.   

Back on Track. Sort of.

Nate and I have pretty much come to the conclusion that we are to adopt a waiting child.  We are, however, open to adopting from anywhere, not just Ethiopia.  We have inquired about several children already but doors have closed on some of them.  We found out that with Haitian adoptions the adoptive family cannot have more than two kids already living in the home.  Seriously?  Adoptions from Congo have a no children living in the home rule.  Frustrating, but thankful for some clear answers as we sift through ALL our options. We are now home study ready and approved.  We are ready to do this.  To find our child.  There is just one major thing holding us back.  Finances.  Yes, I have to go there.  It's a reality.  Our adoption cannot happen without money and lots of it.  There are kids waiting.  Paper work all set.  Their country's government approval already in place.  So many kids, kids that we want but can't do a dang thing about until the money is in place.  Waiting children adoptions can happen so quickly, faster than us waiting for a match, if the money is there.  I am asking for prayer.  Prayer for people to want to give.  For people to pray for provision, for us to find our child and have clear direction.  We have a way for you to donate right here on our blog.  You can also buy some delicious coffee.......every penny counts.  There is no such thing as a "too small" donation.  We will keep everyone updated.  At this point we could have a picture of our child to share at any moment.  It could take weeks, or months, maybe not for a year, we don't know.  So please pray!  We really appreciate everyone that has been following our blog and who has already been praying for us and for those of you who have given generously.  It means the world to us.

The Detour

Two weeks ago we saw two little faces of children that have already been adopted.  These two little faces needed another home.  The only thing we knew is that they "accidentally" replaced the birth order in the home causing some sort of distress. They both have an attachment disorder and really needed a home and a safe place to heal.  We were convinced that that home was ours. Thus, the two week detour from our paperwork frenzy to get the dossier out to Ethiopia.  But sadly, the parents wanted the kids out ASAP and so they chose a family that lived closer so the process would go much faster.  We were never given a chance.  It hurt and it was extremely difficult to read the words from the adoption counselor, "it's done, it looks like both families will move forward".  

However, we have learned so much during this time.  I was excited to see how God was moving with these two children and how he was obviously moving to get them home to us.  I couldn't believe I was a part of such a miraculous story!!   God did move and He moved the way He wanted to because well, He's God and He can, so there.  Surprisingly I WAS a part of a miraculous story.  This story is so much different than "getting these kids home to us".  This is a story of my heart.  How I can, on one hand say I'm miffed at how all this turned out and it's not fair (saying this to God) and on the other hand feel His peace and know what it's like to truly have the peace that passes all understanding.  For the first time in a long time I didn't throw a mental temper tantrum, I can stay cool and calm on the outside but let me just tell you how ugly I can get on the inside.  Scary stuff.  I have also learned that He says no because He loves us.  Because He created us and knows how we tick and what is going to be the best for us. AND what will bring Him the most glory.

One thing I'm really thankful for is how He has opened our eyes to waiting children.  I might step on some toes with this next thought, but understand, it's just my thoughts and my journey to discover what God wants for me, for my family.  Here we were, working on paperwork, getting ready to send our dossier to Ethiopia to WAIT and be matched with a child that would be (hopefully) a perfect fit for our family.  When we discovered the Second Chances Waiting Children list it opened up a world of thousands of children from all over WAITING for a family to choose them.  Waiting children have paperwork ready to go, ready to be adopted, children that no one seems to want.  Most of these kids are older.  They are labeled "special needs" because they are older or have a sibling.  Nate reminded me last night that there were five families in line for these two little faces.  There is no one in line for these other waiting children.  We are taking it slow, praying fervently for God to direct us to the child/ren that need us the most.  

Where we've been on this journey so far....

I couldn't have said it better myself. These last couple of weeks have been hard, to say the least.


www.nomtwords.blogspot.com

click on the entry titled, Holding the Hand of a Stranger


P.S. I can't figure out how to make the above a link right to his blog, but right now I just don't care.

Roller Coaster Ride

We have been on a very hilly, fast turning and at times, slow moving, herky-jerky roller coaster ride with surprises or disappointments around every turn ever since we began this adoption journey.  It hasn't been easy but I can't imagine not being on this crazy ride.  I'm giddy with anticipation wondering who is meant to be in our family.  I'm worried about attachment issues.  I'm worried about what this child/ren have suffered.  I love the idea of being a mommy again.  I'm honored to be a part of something bigger than myself and being the hands and feet of Jesus.  I'm frustrated with not knowing when we will finally find our child/ren and get them home.  I'm angry that international adoption costs so much.  I'm completely discouraged at how slow the money is coming in.  Yep.  Roller coaster.  Big time.  However, I'm determined to trust and not let my feelings get the best of me.  One thing I do know, it will happen.  Somehow.  Someway.  We are praying for miracles and that God will completely blow our minds during this process.  This is how you can pray for us as well.  So for now we will keep putting one foot in front of the other and work our tails off until our child/ren is/are home.

Waiting

This year has been the year of waiting for our family.  We have been waiting for several things since January of this year.  And now the wait continues.  We are practically done with all our paperwork which is a pretty big deal.  However, we cannot send our dossier until we raise 7700 dollars to send it to Ethiopia.  That is only the first chunk of money needed in this process, but this is the one we need to focus on right now.  So we table the paperwork and wait.  Please pray for us.  We have raised some of the money so far, which you can see on our little fundraiser gauge to right, but we also need quite a bit more.  We are requesting older children with possible special needs so you can probably guess that we are anxious to get through this quickly for the sake of whoever belongs in our family and to be able to meet their needs, which are more than likely not being met in an orphanage.  Thank you for your interest in our journey and more importantly your prayers.  Just a reminder, if you want to pitch in and help this child/ren come home you can click on the donate button to the right or buy a delicious bag of coffee by clicking on the just love coffee link on the right.  Five dollars from every bag purchased goes toward bringing our  child/ren home.

Hope

Today I have hope.  Hope that God is in this adoption.  I always knew that but had a hard time staying focused and really believing.  God is steadfast.  He NEVER moves.  It's always me that moves, dodging and weaving His grace, turning my face away from His.  My prayer today is that I hold on to this beautiful, life giving truth.  I don't know what tomorrow will bring but as His word says, "Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matt. 6:34


I end this blog post with this:


2Cor. 2:14
"Now thanks be to God, which always causeth us to triumph in Christ."

Little Annoyances

I don't have much to say today.  There have been a few (minor) delays in our paperwork process, mostly because of some stupid mistakes I made in filling some things in.  Yep I'm a homeschool mom and apparently I can't add.  So annoyed with myself.  Thankfully it's super easy to fix, just a little annoying.  Please pray that we can finally finish this paper chase and the last details will go smoothly, like county and state certifying the proper documents, fingerprints for immigration and things like that.  We really appreciate the prayers, please if you think of us, continue to pray for  patience, wisdom in decision making and for our funding to catch up.  Thanks!

God is Moving

What started out as a nice little getaway to visit Nate's Grandparents turned into a blessing fest!  First and foremost, Nate's Grandparents are two of the most wonderful people I have ever known.  They are loving, caring, self sacrificing and so giving.  They love the Lord with a contagious love.  Their main goal in life is to serve.  Very selfless people who will drop everything to be there for anyone.  Just being able to spend time with them is our first blessing.  Friday night as we sat down to dinner with them, Grandpa asked Nate if he would be willing to share our adoption journey with his Sunday School class.  Of course, Nate said yes.  An hour later Nate was working earnestly on a presentation for the class.  This morning,our second blessing came when Nate was able to share what's been going on.  We are extremely passionate about caring for the orphans and it was so nice to be able to raise awareness for this cause.  The response from everyone in the room was blessing number three.  We felt supported and encouraged and know that we have  gained several new prayer warriors on our behalf and most importantly, the fatherless.  It's so exciting to see how God is moving. He is. He really is.  I have struggled the last few weeks with trust.  I have had times when I forgot that this is HIS story and HIS mission, HE is just using us to accomplish this work.  I am humbled that God could use even me......which is blessing (more like, miracle) number four.  Blessing number five came when we were presented with a generous donation today.  We couldn't believe it!  I'm not mentioning any names, because knowing these people they wouldn't want to be in the spotlight, but you know who you are and we are so very thankful to you!!  I hope that I don't lose sight of all I learned today.  It's sad, but more often than not I will one day have a thankful heart, then fall asleep that night and wake the next day and not even remember.  I really can't stand my human-ness sometimes.  God has blessed us this weekend and we are so undeserving.  He is good.  

Things are Moving Fast!

This morning I am feeling two emotions.  One, excitement at the prospect of being able to meet my goal of completing the dossier by Thanksgiving.  I really do think we can do this.  Two, stress about the huge fee we need in place in order to get the dossier to Ethiopia.  We have raised 800 dollars so far towards our goal of 7700 dollars.  I am so thankful for those friends and family members who generously bought coffee or donated money.  Each time I got a notice about about a donation or got into our online coffee shop and see that a purchase was made, I was so touched and thankful and it really made my day.  I'm excited that God is moving and there are people out there who care and are taking part in saving a life and helping an orphan find his forever family.  Gives me chills to think of it!  We have our last home study meeting on Friday morning and have a few loose ends to tie up before we are done.  Please pray with us that God will continue to provide for us and that if it's HIS will that things will happen quickly.  There is great reason to believe that it might not be His will for things to happen fast.  Maybe our son isn't even in the orphanage yet and He's waiting because, well, His timing is perfect.  Also pray that we will be patient and willing to rest in God's timing and His love that He has for this little someone out there.  It's been a tough day for me in the patience and stress department.  Just being honest.  Thank you for your continued prayers, keep them comin'!! 

Oh and one last thing, I figured out how to put the fundraiser tracker on our blog! Aaaaaand, drum roll please......we saved 500 dollars with our family challenge!!!  

Family Challenge

At the end of August Nate and I began talking about how we can cut back on our expenses to save up for our adoption. The first thing that came to mind, and probably the most obvious, was the food budget.  We came up with a plan and sat down with the kids and explained.  They were totally on board.  Probably because they really had no clue just how much we were planning on cutting back.  No more cereal, chips, crackers, pretzels, pop, meat, ice cream (this is a HUGE sacrifice for Nate), any prepackaged snack item like granola bars, fruit chews.....etc.  If they wanted a snack it was going to have to be fresh fruit, veggies, cheese, piece of toast or any homemade bread, cookie or muffin I make.  For breakfast it's fruit and toast, eggs, oatmeal, pancakes, waffles, muffins or scones.....made from scratch of course, because it's cheaper.  Now let me explain that I love cooking and baking for my family and they love eating what I make so breakfast really hasn't been that hard to adjust to, but still cheaper than going through three 4 dollar boxes of cereal in a week......that's 48 smackers a month...JUST IN CEREAL!!  Lunches have been a bit of an issue because I adore sandwiches, I could eat an artistically crafted, delicious sandwich any time of day or night.  Well, no meat means no meat, so no lunch meat.  BOO!  The kids struggle with not having something crunchy and salty to have with their lunch so there is some sighing when trying to come up with something creative AND yummy to eat.  Mostly from me.  On to dinner time.  Let me just say that as of today, September 26, 2011, we are all ready to crack.  I am not sure any of us can eat another bean and we have 4 more days left in this challenge.  If a recipe calls for meat, I substitute beans when it makes sense.  There has been a lot of salad and so very many potatoes consumed.  I've been making my own bisquick mix as well.  I did not realize that there are literally thousands of bisquick recipes out there and so many that actually taste pretty darn good.  My quick mix recipe makes double what you would find in a store bought mix and saves me about 12 bucks a month.  Not bad.  There is so much more I could share with you but our beans and rice dinner (yes, I said beans, ugh.) and cornbread is almost done so I better run.  It's been a bit of a sacrifice but it wouldn't be a sacrifice if it was easy right?  The total amount we saved so far this month is 410 bucks!!!  Our goal was to save 500 bucks and I think we can do it.  We are pretty proud of ourselves and realized too that even with the cutbacks, we still have so much.  We haven't gone to bed hungry yet and I can't help but think of all the little ones around the world who suffer daily from hunger.  Off to eat my beans.  With a smile on my face and thanksgiving in my heart.  

Dossier Funding

We are really close to completing our Home Study and then we are only about a couple months away from  submitting our dossier.  The dossier is a set of documents that pretty much says that we are for real people that aren't criminals, that lead normal, healthy lives and that we really, truly desire to love and care for another child.  Everything needs notarized and county and state certified.  After it's sent it will then be translated and then sent to Ethiopia.  After that I'm not sure on the exact details of what goes on but we then wait and see if they like what they read and then match us to a little boy.  There are several steps that are involved to make this happen and each step requires a fee.  The total cost we need to have in order to submit the dossier is $7700 smack-a-roos.  As you can see, to the right of this post is a donate button.  If you feel led, please donate and be assured that every penny will go towards bringing our son home. You can also choose the button down further on the right to purchase some delicious coffee.  Five dollars from every bag purchased goes towards our adoption. I am trying to figure out how to put a fundraising meter on this blog so we can see how we're doing, so who knows how long that will take me!  Most importantly please pray for us.  I know I ask every time I post, but that is the most important thing to us, that you all lift us up in prayer and ask for wisdom, strength and patience on our behalf. Well, that's it in a nut shell.  

Second Home Study Meeting Done

We had another successful meeting with our SW this morning.  She interviewed me and Nate individually and each of the kids.  They were so nervous and worried about how it was going to go.  Each one of them came up after their interview with huge smiles on their faces and said how nice she was and that it wasn't so hard.  We told them to just be honest and answer any questions the best they could and they did.  I'm so proud of them!  

I found this meeting particularly resourceful because she told us where we could find a clinic that deals with international adoption.  We will be able to take our son and have him evaluated on every aspect of his being.  Let me just say that I'm relieved to have this information.  I am feeling more and more ready to mother this little boy.  Feeling ready to have respect for his losses and whatever traumatic experiences he may have gone through.  I am feeling more and more ready to walk with him through his adjustments and attachment issues and love him with all I have.  I am developing a fierce mama love for this boy  (you know, the kind that any parent feels with their kids), but I don't have a face yet.  I'm developing a terrible sense of someone else is caring for him when it really should be me and Nate.  My emotions make zero sense right now.  I feel an urgency to just get this done and bring him home as fast as humanly possible and yet I find myself wanting to slow down a bit so our funding for this adoption can catch up.  Waaaaay up.  It's hard.  We all have a love for him.  We sit at our table and look at the empty chair and imagine him sitting there.  We talk about what he might think of this or that, or what he'll do in the snow or how would he like build-a-bear.  Will he prefer stuffed animals or cars?  Building with blocks or legos, or drawing or singing?  Sports or science?  One of the joys Nate and I have in being parents is watching our kids grow, change and watch them discover their own areas of expertise.  We are ready to start all of that with our fourth.  The kids are ready to fill that empty space in our home and hearts with their sibling.  We are praying that God, if it's His will, that He will quickly provide the funds and we will be able to get the rest of the paperwork done and complete the dossier by Thanksgiving.  I know it's a tall order but God can do it, the question is, is that what's best for us?  So, we continue to wait........

First Home Study Meeting Done

This morning we had our first in-home meeting with our social worker.  She is wonderful and we are so thankful that she is working with us.  This meeting consisted of our SW asking questions like, what is our motivation for adopting, do we understand there could be delays.  She addressed that fact that the probability that our child will come with attachment issues and possibly other emotional problems is big.  We went over some paperwork and had a nice conversation around our table with cups of coffee in hand.  I couldn't have asked for a better experience.  Oh, and let me just say.......SHE DID LOOK IN ALL MY CLOSETS!!!  And because of my obsession with cleaning and organizing during the month of August, I was ready.  Thank you. No embarrassment whatsoever. Ha! I rock!  Okay, so do my kids, I did pay them after all.  =D

Near the end of the meeting our SW said that we are moving fast and almost have all the home study paperwork done.  We knew that and we are so happy, but we need to do some serious money saving and fundraising.  Thanks to all of you who have so generously bought coffee or donated money for this adoption.  It means so much to us, you'll never know just how much.  Keep praying for us!  We are so excited to see how God moves in this journey! 

Moving right along!

Nate and I have been jumping through many hoops the past two weeks and we are finally seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. I hate paperwork. I loathe paperwork. I would like to spit in the face of paperwork. Because of these strong feelings instead of procrastinating, I tackled the paperwork. My main concern when I sat in front of the mountain of documents was how fast can I shrink it. I cried, I fretted, I paced, I wrung my hands nervously and not once did I think to pray for the process of paperwork. Our family coordinator sent us an email that reminded us of the tedious job we had ahead of us and then said to pray. *enter slap on forehead*. Duh. Didn't God call us to adopt? Didn't He orchestrate our lives the past 16 or whatever years to prepare us for this calling? Am I really fretting over paper?!?! Why am I trying to go on my own strength? God's got this. Totally. Without a doubt. Paperwork is vital in bringing home our son. I have to say that since we have prayed over this paperwork, things have gone pretty smoothly. Don't get me wrong, there is still plenty of time for lots of bumps to get over and to have some issues along the way. In fact, I expect it. But even when that happens, God still has this under control and He will see to all the details.

This morning our Social Worker called and we set up meetings for the next two weeks and then we'll have one more after that. We could have this home study wrapped up in just three weeks! I'm so elated. Nate and I both are feeling very excited to be getting a little closer, every day, to our son. We are thanking God for His provision and trusting He will continue to provide EVERYthing we need to see this adoption to the end. Thanks for your continued prayers for financial needs to fund this adoption, for our hearts to be prepared for parenting this little guy and for our kids, although, they are ready, they want him home like yesterday. We are so thankful for their tender, sweet hearts and their willingness to love another sibling and share their life with him. I'm a proud mama that's for sure!

Brandon Heath - It's Alright - Lyrics

This song is my prayer for our little boy that we are anxiously waiting for.  We don't know what you look like but we adore you.  We don't know how you are doing, but Jesus does and He wants you to know that He's with you and everything will be okay.  We are dreaming of you little one.  We love you.

The Home Study Begins

Last night Nate and I and the kids traveled about an hour and twenty minutes to Lima, Ohio to meet with AWAA Social Services.  The woman we met with was so nice and helped to make a lot of things clear with the paperwork involved.  She isn't our social worker that will be coming to our house, last night was an orientation.  Our social worker, Patty, will be calling us either today or early next week.  She will then set up the appointments to come to our home and get to know our family and how we function.  The kids are nervous because she will be interviewing each of them individually.  I keep telling them it's not an interrogation, just a time for her to get to know them.  =D  They have been real troopers through this process and we are so proud of them.  Therese, the woman we met last night, was very impressed with how much we've gotten accomplished in the paperwork.  I think my parents would be proud of me, all those years of desperately trying to instill organizational skills and responsibility (and keeping a filing cabinet for important papers) has come to fruition!  Because of their teaching, I didn't panic last night when Therese said she needed the first page of our 1040 tax forms all the way back to 2006 to present because my dad has always said to save important papers because you will never know if and when you'll need them.  Thanks mom and dad!!  We are very excited to have taken this big step forward and continue the paper chase.  There are still some concerns and fear that, at times, creeps in about the issues that come with adopting an older child.  Thankfully we know that the Lord is in control and there is a little boy out there who needs us.  The Lord will lead and direct us to the one meant for our family and He knows what's best for him and will give us what we need to raise this precious child for Him.  Please pray that we remember this whenever the fear of the unknown sneaks up on us.

Blessings

I have been learning a lot through this adoption process.  One, I realized that I can be a total nut about paperwork and insisting at the strangest times of day (like midnight) that we sit down and fill something out.  Two, that I'm not as patient as I once thought.  Three, that my life is so full and blessed that I need to slow down and enjoy what I have right here and trust that the Lord will see this adoption through and my obsessiveness will not make it go any faster or smoother.   I don't deserve the many blessings in my life, it seems that they keep flowing and flowing and I'm overwhelmed with thankfulness to my Abba Father.  I am learning to count my blessings every day and take note of every moment of Grace given to me by Him.

We are progressing, probably more that I feel at times.  Just sent out some more paperwork to the home study agency and it feels really good.  We are hoping to have the dossier and the home study complete by Thanksgiving.  I don't think that's too much to ask, it's better than what I have been aiming for. ...I wanted things done by September.  I'm so delusional sometimes.  :)  Anyway, the Warners will keep living this wonderful life, loving each other to the fullest, dreaming about our little one out there, and praising our Father every step of the way.  He is so good.

Let's Build!

We are now well into the dossier building process!  We are happy to finally have been assigned a Family Coordinator, she called today and introduced herself and sent us an email with documents that needed to be printed out and signed.  I believe I just printed out 8,963 pieces of paper.  The printer was smoking by the time it was all said and done. :o}  We also recieved a call yesterday from AWAA-OH social services and was also told there was an email with documents that needed signing.  Another 212 papers so that wasn't nearly as bad.  Sooooo, we now prepare our eyeballs for reading all documents, buy plenty of Visine and make sure we have a 50 count pack of brand new pens.  We are off and running!  Like I mentioned in my last post, I have indeed begun ransacking the house, decluttered and started organizing like I never have before.  Hey, I know it's not necessary, but it keeps me sane and if I'm sane, the whole family is sane!  Until next time!

Paperwork Part I

We are celebrating the send off of our first set of paperwork on Wednesday July 20, 2011!!  We had to sign and initial a boat load of papers and send in our first fee.  What a relief to have that simple step done.  Now we wait (anxiously) for the call to inform us of when the home study will begin!!  Until then, the house will be ransacked.........closets will be organized and anything that hasn't been touched in 3 months is outta here.  Yes, I understand that the social worker will not be investigating the state of our closets, but our kids (who will be helping) don't really need to know that do they?  =D  Every crack and crevice will be cleaned, dusted, scrubbed and sanitized.  Again, I do realize that all this isn't necessary, it's just that all this will keep me busy and prevent my mind from fixating on the long wait ahead.  Plus, my house desperately needs this deep cleaning.  We will post as soon as we hear from AWAA about the home study.  Thanks, as always, for your prayers!

Course Complete!

Nate and I both received our certificates for completing the Hague-certified Inter-country Adoption Course! 

We are both excited and relieved (we had NO idea the amount of reading that was required).  We are glad that we had to do this because we both learned a lot of helpful things and were given ideas on how to handle some potential problems along the way.  Now we prepare for the home study which should begin in about 2 weeks..........yikes!  We have been told that with the home study you don't need to make sure your home is in perfect shape.......HA!  Lets see if I can really be relaxed about that when the time comes! :) Anyway, that's all we have for an update, sorry it's been a couple of weeks, just not a whole lot to say!  Thanks for your prayers!

Preparation

Tonight Nate and I continued our adoption course and this module was about the issues that come with institutionalized children in foreign countries.  Let me just say that I knew that orphans come with problems......health, disabilities, mental problems and such, but when you read stories about specific children and the horrendous situations they have faced or are facing, it's even more eye opening.  While it's worrisome for us as we imagine parenting a child with such needs we are more concerned than ever about what our little boy is enduring right now.   I know that he is in Gods hands and God loves him more than we ever could, for that I'm thankful.  I just hope and pray that God can protect him and give him strength to continue on until we can wrap our arms around him and love him.  Please pray for us, to be prepared mentally and physically to parent this child and for wisdom to know how to help him in any area he may struggle.  Pray for our three kids that God will prepare their hearts as well.  We are all very excited to one day bring him home, but we know and understand that so much learning and getting ready needs to be done.

International Adoption Course

We sat by a fire this evening and began our international adoption course. There is so much to take in, but we have not lost sight of God's leading for us to care for the fatherless and add to our family. We have gained further determination to see this process through. We cannot wait to share the love in our home with our new child and recognize that each small step is one more step toward bringing our new son(s? daughter?) home. It feels great to take this next step. Bring on the paperwork!

Patience

The next steps towards adopting our child begin next week when we return from our wonderful vacation.  We will be taking an adoptive parent course and submitting our first program fee!  Already we have seen the hand of God working in the financial end of things.  I was thinking the other day, we are going to have to try and think of creative ways to raise money for our adoption, especially towards the end when things get particularly expensive and perhaps a bit frantic.  Of course I'm going on other families stories and circumstances and each situation is different, only our Heavenly Father knows exactly how all this pans out.  I am also finding that I'm struggling with impatience..........why does bringing home an orphaned child take so long?  In our case we are adopting an older child and know that he is probably longing for a forever home and we just want to push everyone and everything out of the way, crawl, climb, swim and move mountains to just get to Ethiopia.........NOW!  Thankfully we can rest in knowing that Gods timing is perfect and with any hurdle or bump in the road or with what we would consider a delay, that His reasons and His way goes beyond our understanding and we can fully trust Him.  So for today, I'm praying for patience and have a heart full of thanksgiving that the One who created the mountains can and will move them for us as we wait on Him and for our little boy.

Father's Day

My Desta, 


Today's Father's Day. This holiday is no doubt foreign to you in more ways than one. I've thought of you often today and wondered about your concept of fatherhood:

• Have you seen other men as fathers and wondered what it was like?  
• Have you had experiences with men that have caused you to be distrustful of them?
• Do you wonder about your biological father?
• Does the idea of a father cause you anger, sadness, longing, or worry?

I worry that you are unhappy and unhealthy today. I worry that you may think that you'll never have a family. I wish that I could speak with you and reassure that I will be here for you. To say to you, "Hold on. We'll be together soon. Your days of fatherlessness are numbered". There is a growing restlessness within me as you become more and more a part of me, and I desire more and more to move into that protecting role that fathers inherit. 

However, I take comfort that I may approach the throne of our Heavenly Father and ask Him to continue to protect you until He allows me to be His feet to run to you, His hands to soothe you, His mouth to speak love to you, and His arms to gather you close.  One day we we will walk and speak of His great love for us, His great plan to bring you to me, and our magnificent responsibility to carry His Holy Name into the darkness of the world. 

Let this picture be a prophecy of that moment. 

Until then, you remain in my prayers. I offer my protection as I cry, "Abba, Father" and pray for your protection in faith that our coming joy will pale our present longings. 


Romans 8:15-18

¹⁵For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.
 ¹⁶The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God:
 ¹⁷And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.
 ¹⁸For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

The Journey Begins!

     The last several months have been filled with changes, waiting and seeking Gods will for our family.  The Lord has placed a fire in our hearts to serve Him.  Really serve Him.  I mean the sacrificial, get out of our comfort zones kind of serving.   I (Brenda) never thought that I could be used in a big way.  I was content to just be a stay at home mom and be a behind the scenes kind of Christian.  The scary thing is, I was complacent and didn't realize it and I was missing opportunities left and right.  So we began to give our lives to God and asked Him to use us for His Glory.  Warning, if you are genuinely wanting to be a servant of God, He will act!!!

     There have been a lot of things we have been given a passion for as we seek to serve Him.  This blog documents just one of those things.  International adoption!  It is with great joy and happiness to announce that we are headed to Ethiopia to bring home our next child/children!!  Our blog header says Desta, pronounced des-e-ta.  It is the Ethiopian language Amharic word for joy.  We received the call from our adoption agency AWAA (America World Adoption Association) on Thursday, June 9, 2011 that we have been accepted into the Ethiopian program.  We are thrilled, excited and so very anxious to get to Ethiopia and meet our new little one/s and bring them home where they belong.  We have a long journey ahead of us that consists of paperwork, the home study, putting together the dossier, sending it all to Ethiopia and then waiting for the referral of a child that has been matched to our family.

     Please join us in prayer as we take this leap of faith and travel down this unknown road and fully trust in the Lord to lead, guide and provide.

      Below is a video of Nate telling the kids we were accepted into the program.........priceless!