It's Getting Clearer!!

I can't begin to tell you how up and down this adoption has been.  Sometimes I feel like God is standing there with His finger on top of my head and He's just spinning me round and round.  Of course that's just the ugly side of how I think sometimes.  He has all the details worked out and it's me making things confusing and difficult because I think it should go one way and He's pointing in another direction.  I have conversations with God in which I have the audacity to tell Him that He's mistaken and we need to work together to get things right.  For instance, we have been working on an Ethiopian adoption since June and we've been happily imagining a little Ethiopian running around our home being a part of the family.  In the last couple of months God has been really working, I mean really working in us.  I pray for closed or open doors, for His will to be done, yet when a door closes I think, "come on God, really?"  "But that  wasn't in the original plan!!"  God really is a merciful and gracious God.  He has been showing me that He hasn't budged from the original plan because it is His plan. I'm the one running around like an idiot trying to formulate my plan and get Him to be on board with it.  He sees the child/ren that are meant to be with us and it's time I relax, enjoy this exciting and humbling experience and know that no matter what I do, how I try to manipulate God (crazy that I would think that could work....sheesh), this isn't going to work out any other way but Gods way.  I'm wearing myself out not trusting.  It's so much better,so much sweeter to be resting in Him and letting Him do the work.  I'm so thankful that He never gives up on me!


As you have guessed from what I've written so far, it looks like it's possible that we won't be adopting from Ethiopia.  We haven't completely ruled it out but God has really opened our eyes to a country where we knew the need was great (there's a need everywhere you turn) but never understood just how bad and awful it really is.  We were told that in this particular orphanage ALL the children are waiting children.  There is not enough families for this program and they are desperately looking for families to adopt from this place.  I am not saying where this is just yet, as we are taking the first steps with applications and really trying to wait on the Lord to see if this is indeed where we are to go. Once it has become so clear that we can't ignore it, we will share with everyone. The cost is about $4000 dollars more than an Ethiopian adoption so there is another challenge but I'm trying not to worry about that, children getting adopted into families is far more important than the money and God has that already worked out......I just really wish He would show me! :)  This adoption would move faster as well which kind of scares me and makes me want to worry about money, but also makes me so super excited and happy at the thought of our child being home before next Christmas!!  Eeeeeeeek!!! So as always, we are asking for prayer as we seek His will and we will be sure to keep everyone updated.